Have any of you ever used a hot water bottle? Come on. Anyone? No…? Then you have missed out on one of the wonders of the world. Really. My hot water bottle is right up there with pillows, dark chocolate and the wheel in its change-the-world status.Really this is a don’t leave home without it item.
If you have never seen one, it is about the size of a good book and weighs less empty than a box of cheerios but my oh my can that little baby deliver. Let me explain.
Every night in winter, at least every night that is below 10 degrees or so, Lee puts up the teakettle to boil and fills that rubbery sucker right to the top. He then slips it into our bed under the covers. By the time I step out of the bathroom, already too cold to remove my socks that little sweetheart is spreading her blessing like white on rice.
Did I mention that she is fur covered and we call her Doris? Well she is. And we do. No rubber duckling for me… this baby is covered head to foot in soft fuzzy grey fur. Before you go thinking mink or sable let me stop you right quick. We are talking fake grey fur. Think more like dead squirrel meets oversized beanie baby.
But there she is waiting for me as I slide shivering into bed. I clutch Doris to me, curling into a ball around her and groan in ecstasy as small pulsations of warmth begin to spread their message of hope. Soon I can remove my socks and slowly begin the uncurling process. The final triumphant step is when I roll Doris down to my belly, then my legs and she finally comes to rest at the bottom of my feet where she radiates joy all night long.
As far as I can tell there is only one problem — Lee, my husband. I used to rely on him for warmth. He has, I am sorry to say, been replaced. Now he is developing a worrisome streak of jealousy over my relationship with Doris. What can tell you… follow the heat.